Anyway, seeing that so many of my friends have blogs, I thought maybe I should start writing too. I finally realised that writing really helps my depression and anxiety. When writing in my daily appreciation booklet, I use a blue pen for negative thoughts and a black pen for happy thoughts and gratitude. The moment I saw the blue ink taking over each and every page of the book, I realised something had to be done. I had to help myself before I couldn't. I try to find the simplest of things to be thankful for. Every time someone lends me something, I write it down. Every time my friends try so hard to help me, I write it down. Every time you go back to hostel with me, I write it down. I flip back and read them every time I feel down. Until my pages are filled with black ink, I will continue with every small gratitude.
Senior three life is really tough but I'm really grateful and lucky to have such a caring class teacher and my last year of lion dance to get me through this rough start of the year. So many things need to be done. It's so stressful being in such an outstanding class. Everyone seems to know what they need to do but I'm here standing at the crossroads in a messy mess. I really hope everything will turn out well in the end, because if my parents are disappointed, I really lose all hope of life.
After so many practices of lion dance, we are one day closer to Chinese New Year each day. Everyone can't wait but I dread its arrival so much, because it means my lion dance life is coming to an end and our team won't be a team anymore soon. What am I supposed to do after CNY when lion dance practice is the only thing I look forward to all day now. All good things come to an end but why should it be so sad and tear-jerking. This year I really have a lot of responsibilities in lion dance and I'm really honoured and thankful for so many chances to experience things I haven't done before.
With all the people leaving and all the stress in January, I really hope for the best in February. I'll try to make sure everything I handle and take part in will go by smoothly without fail. All the best for each and every member of lion dance, especially all the captains. I'm really sorry to my friends who are trying to help me, I know I'm hard to handle and a burden. I hope the very best for you guys too.
Reach for the moon, because even if you fall, you'll land among the stars.
